Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
