Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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