Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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