my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
