Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
