Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
