fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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