He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Michael Bay diarrhea
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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