I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I want is dick and wine.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
