So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
