Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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