Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
