hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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