where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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