I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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