Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
