Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need moral support for this bender
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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