going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
