You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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