she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
