well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So much rum. So many feels.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
