This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
