you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
