i just wanna soil my oats bro
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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