I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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