So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
