dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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