It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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