My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Randomize
