i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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