with your own penis?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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