Can i not drive my cunt home
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
