I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
