i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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