what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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