Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
