thus making me awesome and them whores
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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