Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize