Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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