Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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