the day after is always just damage control
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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