I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
barbara walters just said penis...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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