Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
