I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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