i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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