his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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