I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
