so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
