Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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