So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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