Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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