I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
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If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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