I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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