i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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