Define "chronic" masturbator.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
