My brain says no but my pants say off.
Buhtt sex?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
