So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
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Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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