remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
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He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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