So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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