they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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