I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
