wat bout pragnant strippers??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
