No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
