So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
