So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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