Porn is love you can see.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
