I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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