Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
