super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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