Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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