I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
